50 shades of shut the fuck up now

[signe_chan]

Alright, I'm going to ramble about 50 shades. Stick with me.

I have never read this book. I never intend to read this book. Never the less, I've joined in with the public flogging of this book. I have shamed it with friend and colleagues. It is a badly written book about domestic abuse.

Now, a confession. I really like Hannibal porn. The dark stuff. I like the stuff where Hannibal takes Will and makes him his sex slave. The more fucked up and co-dependent it all gets, the better. I have read fic that are probably morally worse than 50 shades. I mean, I guess I acknowledge that the fic I'm getting of on there is really fucked up and I know myself well enough to know it's appealing to the bit of me that feels helpless and directionless and just wants someone to come along and tell me what to do with my life and how to do it, the same part of me that loves ABO-verse and went through that really weird phase with the daddy kink ClintCoulson fics and why did we even go there, fandom? But, thing is, I read and enjoy things that are objectively worse than 50 shades.

So what right so I have, exactly, to turn around and tell this woman she can't enjoy her badly written porn but I can enjoy mine.

It seems to me that a lot of the hand-wringing is about the idea that women who are reading 50 shades are passive consumers of this book. That they're going to read it and accept it as some kind of relationship guide and go out and have unsafe, non-consensual kinky sex. The more I think about this the less I like it becasue we seem to be denying these women a lot of agency. Surely, in the same way I can acknowledge that Hannibal locking up Will and fucking with his head is REALLY WRONG but I still kind of get of on it, these women can probably acknowledge that some things in 50 shades are kind of wrong but still get of on them. They can probably work out for themselves that if they're actually going to try something kinky they should probably consult an actual guide to BDSM or talk it through or give consent. It just feels like there's been a big party to throw a load of shame on women for liking this book and how can I when I read shit that's worse.

Now, you can totally 100% make an argument that 50 shades contributes to an existing culture where women's consent is regarded as an optional extra in far too many sexual encounters, where this kind of violence in a relationship is normalised and that's 100% valid. If in season 3, Hannibal locks Will up in his sex dungeon I'm not going to like that. I think the difference is that fandom is a place of extras. Of possibilities. I wouldn't want most fanfiction to be canon, if I'm being honest. Fandom represents a place where we can explode those possibilities and play with them all, even the ones with unsafe BDSM practice and really fucked up cannibal on profiler sex, with it not being 'real' in such a way that I have to think about the implications of it. I guess there is a problem when these things move into the mainstream but a lot of the concern for women reading instead of concern about the text and how it contributes to the overall cultural messages we're sending about consent and female sexuality feels patronising. And maybe it shouldn't be in the mainstream but you have to remember how it got there. It wasn't sold to a massive publisher straight out, it got really popular on the kindle store, driven by people who found something in it buying and recommending it, THEN to went to a publisher. This is as close to women choosing their own mainstream culture as we're likely to get.

So, yeah, I think what I'm trying to say is I'm with you 100% that 50 shades is kind of fucked up but a hell of a lot of women enjoyed it so can we move on from treating them like idiots who don't understand that the media they're consuming is bad for them and maybe if we have to carry on the discussion make it about what all these women are getting out of this piece of porn, what need is it filling for them and what does that tell us about society.

Comments

[andrea-deer.livejournal.com]

Actually, if I may butt in, I had a discussion about this with a friend of mine. Literally about this, because she is a great Hannigram shipper and had simmiliar doubts.

As a person who read the book partially and tons of articles with direct quotes, and some seriously disturbing fics (though by far not as many as the mentioned friend) - I want to tell you what I've told her. Obviously you might agree or not, but this is my take on it.

Disregarding for the moment the issue that this book has with BDSM community and consent, etc. etc. etc. We've all read fics that have same issues. Or at least we know the exist.

Okay, so for me, the issue here boils down to this: I'm fine with most disturbing, porny, freaky, kinky, dark relationships stories - as long as they're portrayed as such.

Quick explenation: Dark fic with evil Hannibal doing disturbing stuff to Will? Including manipulation, torture, non-con? Fine. Whatever stirs your cauldron.

Happy rom-com fluffy fic in which Hannibal tortures, manipulates and rapes Will and it's shown as happy relationship and grand love, and Will reacts to it all by curing Hannibal from cannibalism with his love? No. So much no.

In simplest terms: I don't mind that people get off on non-con, if it's tagged as non-con and we are all aware it's non-con. If author tags it as domestic fluff and write it as such except oh oops, there will also be rape, I will comment and I won't be pleasant.

If you write rape, call it that, don't call it romance. Christian Gray rapes Anastacia, and everyone from narrator, through author, to most of the readers says it's a beautiful love story.

And no, I'm not calling people reading this and getting off on it idiots. Especially since there's so little erotica in mainstream literature, I can't blame them for jumping on whatever there is.

My main argument is not against them, it's against the book itself (or author, if you will), it describes rape and abuse, and calls it romance and happiness. And that? That's not cool.

[signe-chan.livejournal.com]

Feel free to but in :) That's a really good point and I totally get what you're saying. I think there's a really good argument against the book to be made in pointing out that it is rape in a society that doesn't always seem to be able to define what that is and often romanticizes it. I guess what I've just gotten bored with is all the hand wringing about these poor women who are reading this porn and don't even realise it's not a healthy relationship that, in it's quest to condemn the book, entirely disregards the fact that the women reading it are active participants in their reading experiences, not passive receptacles of the book's views. Sure, it adds to a culture where rape is normalised in a relationship but it doesn't exist in a pure form, it's decoded by women reading it and I think that's what a lot of the dialogue focusing on the impact of the books on women is missing.

And, for the record, I would read the second fic too. I'd want a rape warning on the cover but something where Hannibal professed to love Will and gave up murder for him while also torturing and raping Will would probably be OOC but could be deliciously fucked up. I fully acknowledge it's not healthy and it's rape but I'd probably still read it. Bringing us back again to what do I get out of that? What's going on in society that's made me someone who'd read a thing like that? That's made so many women derive enjoyment from something that contains rape. Do they code the rape? What are they getting from this book that's turning them on? What is their experience of the book?

[andrea-deer.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure if there is one and simple answer to what we get from fics like that. Personally I don't read non-cons/rape fics almost at all. Not my thing. (Doesn't mean I don't read other disturbing stuff.) (All the more reason for me to want the warning against it, I guess.) But is there ever a simple answer? I tried to a non-fandom person explain lately what is coffee-shop AU and why on Earth it's so popular, and I failed.

But anyway, you mention important thing that is very important to me as well in this. Aknowledging that what you read/write is rape. That's my main problem with 50 shades - as I believe I said, sorry this comment was highly disroganized - it doesn't aknowledge this. In 50 shades it's just sex, perhaps kinky sex.

And people say it's just a book, that's the main argument I saw against criticism. And yes, they're right. It is just a book, that's why enjoying reading up rape is not illegal or anything. But the problem is not that there is rape in the story, the problem isn't even that the victim falls for the rapist and they end up together (disturbing as it is), the problem is that according to 50 shades, when someone says no in as many ways as possible and gets forced to have sex, both physically and emotionally - it's still consensual sex, which it's not.

And sure, we can read it critically, we can be as readers aware it's rape and enjoy it still as a story involving rape. But a) I think it's not same story, when you call it rape and when you call it love making. b) sadly, really lots of people don't realize this.

That's why I'm less on calling readers idiots or shaming their kinks, I'm all about telling them that they read abuse and rape. It might seem pointless, but it's not. The narration sells it as a healthy relationship, with the kinky side that gets 'cured' anyway. But the BDSM is not the problem in this, the abuse and rape are. And sadly, most of the people whom I know and who read and enjoyed the book? Didn't see it either as rape nor abuse. And that is the thing that bothers me. Because I remember being younger and stupider and writing a fic and thinking it's fine. Porn, yeah, but fine. And it was pointed out to me that it was non-con. And at first I was disbelieving, I didn't argue with this opinion, but I asked several fandom friends to read it and tell me if it's really non-con and what's going on. Now I admit I'm terrified and crept out that it wasn't obvious to me then. It wasn't even dub-con, it was pure and complete non-con.

And that's what I fight against, while ranting against 50 shades. Not all its other issues, but the fact that it doesn't aknowledge that it's about abuse and rape. The fact that most readers don't aknowledge this. And people who bring it up are told they're over-reacting. No, over-reacting is burning books and forbidding them, not telling what is written inside of them. So if I ever get dragged into the conversation about 50 shades with someone who enjoys it, I just want to make sure they enjoy what's in there and not what's its sold as. (And if possible I try to convince them to join the fandom, because really, life is too short for bad porn. ;))

Although, on the comment on what people see in rape fics/stories. I have to say I once read that it's just us - especially women - being finally free to enjoy the kinkier stuff or even just the sex. Because the victim after all is not a weird kinky slut or any other slur that might've been thrown at them, no they're forced to experience this, so the responsibitliy or shame is not on them. Which I guess maybe somehow does influence us, but it's like one grain of sand in a full sandcastle, because everyone has different motivations and also, imo, non-cons are various as well. Personally I can only stand some of them, usually only with evil characters, where I can just enjoy how twisted they are, rather than anything else. I don't I think it's just a very complex thing, but as I said: I don't sham people's kinks. Even if I find them weird and disturbing. Even if in rl they'd be seriously illegal and demaging. In literary world, everything is fine. But I think it's a key point to be aware of what one is reading, that's all.

If this comment makes even less sense, I'm sorry, I'm falling asleep as I type. XD

[yalumesse]

You know, you're totally right. And I don't know why this is the first time I've thought about it, let alone heard about it.

But also agreeing with andrea up there - mislabelling rape is the worst sort of wrong ever.