Nov. 1st, 2015

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So, back from London. I had a really good time there but immediately followed it up with a few bad brain days, which I think is as much to do with expecting the bad brain days and working myself up about it as anything else. Still don't regret going.

Brain news first, I've started keeping a journal at the end of the day, writing down the bad brain things but then making myself reflect on the things that made me happy and writing them down to. I got a few CBT books on London specifically for dealing with medical anxiety but it's weird becasue it's like my brain think they'll make me worse instead of better and I don't even. Don't worry, I'll bully myself into reading them.

And now, happy things! London!

I met up with a lot of awesome people. Monday night I met up with the 9worlds fanfiction people and we had a nice meal and talked some and it was great. I love spending time with fangirls. And then Tuesday night I went to visit a friend who's just bought a house (which is an awesome house) and I looked at her house in awe. It was good fun and great to just casually see friends. I also went to Expo on Sunday and it's always nice to be surrounded by geeks. I walked around London on Monday and went to Regents Park. Tuesday I did the tower of London. Saturday I went to Tatty Devine and bought this and this.

And also on Saturday night I went to see Les Mis.

Which might seem like an odd choice for someone with depression but I'd been wanting to see it. I saw the movie when it came out and it's kind of a staple of theater so I paid my money and went to see it and...

...and did I miss in the film that Grataire is really gay for Enjolras? I mean, so gay? I think they toned down his drunkeness in the movie, but that seems to cheapen him somehow. I mean, I haven't read the books but how I read the musical, Enjolras is the ideal. He is the dream of a better society but he doesn't understand the individual. The rises and falls of a small, ordinary life. Grantaire is the people. He knows from the first that they're doomed to fail but he stands with them becasue he wants them to win, he wants to believe. Graintaire is the one who encourages Marius to sing about his love. He's the one who goes to Marius after Eponine dies. He's the human heart of it and that's why he's constantly drunk, becasue he's the one who understands they're going to a tragedy, not a rebellion. That's why he doesn't work as well if he isn't drink, he isn't as tragic.

And the song Drink with Me, that was different in the movie, right? Because on the stage, Grantaire sang his verse to Enjolras and then broke down and Enjolras came to comfort him and it's the only time he comforts anyone and...

So gay. Such love. Wow.

And now it's Nano so I should be making words. I'm not sure how winning nano's going to go this time becasue...yeah...but we'll have a crack at it. I remember doing it lsat year and being so excited and now I'm really not but I'm going to try anyway because if I don't try then what's the point?


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