Mar. 12th, 2015

signe_chan: (Stress-free)
I think I'm going to have to make peace with the fact I'm never going to be an artist. Or, at least, the kind of artist who has image as a medium rather than words. I've been trying for a year and while I have made progress and my work isn't terrible, I've not made the kind of progress I'd like and more and more I'm thinking that I don't want to be an artist, I want to be someone at a convention with a table in Artists Alley where they get to sit with fanart in front of them and people who like the same thing come over to chat. That's not being an artist.

It kind of irks me to give up as I started this with the attitude that if I threw myself at it long enough, I'd get better. I still think that's true, I just wonder if being better is worth the time and energy it's going to cost me. I don't have the passion to be as good as I'd like to be and is there any point in forcing myself if I don't feel that passion. Can't I spend the time better in writing or reading or watching shows or dancing or talking to friends.

So, yeah. I think I'm giving up on learning to draw. I will, however, keep banging my head against the wall of learning German as I'm shit at languages but I'd really love to speak one other than my mother tongue.

On saturday I'm going to try a new writing club. I've been to one locally before, many years ago, and it was full of little old men and ladies writing poetry about flowers. Which, sure, great for them. Not for me. But this one is slightly further away, slightly more urban. If I'm being honest I'm hoping to make more fangirl friends but would settle for trying out being among other writers again.

Tomorrow is red nose day so I'll be wearing my Hermione Granger outfit to school. I'm also contemplating taking in my replica Captain America shield. If they break it I'll have a sad but it might make them smile for a bit. I'll see how I feel in the morning. I'm feeling pretty charitable to the world at the moment.

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signe_chan

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